I do this and do that.. I sound like I am ungrateful or nagging.. sorry to blow my top.. I feel as though regret has taken over you. I sit here and tell my self there is going to be a turn around some day.. Everyday is perfect except those one days where it all comes on like a wave.. I don't think before I speak, things are triggered when things are done or said. I don't mean to be this way, I am sorry but I am just the product of your dismay. I am not here to judge you in all you did or done, but to merely help you guide me and help us get along. I did this for us I said it for me.. but why is it I just can't let things be? I don't wanna be hurt I don't want to cause confusion or delay to our recovery. I just need to talk and let things be free. I can't seem to shake this disease it comes out of me and runs over my selfless degrees. I come to see that maybe I'm the problem and don't know when to decline, the words that come vomiting out as they please. This demon has a hold of me and won't let me go til its satisfied with its demeaning greed. I shake and jerk to get a hold of you to wrap you in our bound to never be alone.. why can't I let things go?? Can we just talk?? Not argue? I just wanna be alive again..
